I’m Not An Otome Game Protagonist!: The Final Chapter of 2023

Today I will be spilling the tea from aboard my GTA Online character’s superyacht. It's anchored off the coast of Vespucci Beach in Los Santos, close enough to her businesses and a good helicopter ride away from her casino penthouse across the state of San Andreas.

Let’s get this started…

WHAT’S UP WITH ME?

This screenshot of Solomun playing EDM inside my character’s nightclub in Del Perro is a strong hint of my current mood.

I’ve been sitting on the raw data since Wednesday afternoon, and after consulting with my doctor I can dance the night away. My blood work was so good that I joked with my doctor they probably thought I paid someone to take my tests for me. In summary, I’m allowed to stop all medications to see how my body functions without them for the next three months. 

I also lost 2.2 pounds on Christmas week, and I had a fast food meal to boot. How the hell did that happen?

My financial health is great, too. My investment growth outpaced my spending, which means I can look forward to another year away from the corporate plantation in 2024.

WHAT I ATE

Two Del Taco crunchy tacos and medium fries. That was my lunch the day I had my blood work. I drizzled Marie Sharp’s instead of DT’s own hot sauce on the tacos, and it changed their flavor profile completely. I missed Mexicanish food, and I’m assuming I can safely have DT once a month.

WHAT I BOUGHT

A megalodon shark card to celebrate my good fortune. For $99.99 my GTA Online character gets an $11.5 million cash infusion in her bank account to buy things for our enjoyment. A very fast cop car will be released soon for The Chop Shop update, and we will have that one fully modified like a race car once we get it.

WHAT I LISTENED TO

That new soundtrack from GTA Online. It’s fun to listen to songs that double as background music for my online character’s shenanigans.

WHAT I READ ON MY PAPERWHITE

Christmas is traditionally a bad week for manga and comics. I have nothing to report this week.

WHAT I WATCHED

Part of another Thursday Night Beatdown game. Cleveland isn’t clowning anymore, y’all. 

While we’re on the topic of football, I should give y’all a rundown of how I view other NFL teams:

These feelings I harbor in my heart are scandalous: Bills, Rams. 

I have a healthy respect for Bills Mafia. They’re like Raider Nation’s crazy and drunk brothers. I also love how Vons/Albertson’s has marketed the Los Angeles Rams to San Diegans since the Chargers fled north, and that the Rams are far more successful than those bastards.

We can be frenemies: Dolphins, Ravens, Bengals, Browns, Jaguars, Colts, Texans, Eagles, Giants, Lions, Vikings, Packers, Bears, Buccaneers, Falcons, Saints, 49ers, Seahawks. 

There’s no annual game between the Raiders and NFC teams, so most of them fall in the frenemy category by default. I have neither love or hate for them.

Fuck yo' team!: Patriots, Steelers, Chiefs, Broncos, Cowboys, Titans. 

The Patriots and Steelers are bitter playoff rivals, and the Chiefs and Broncos have been division rivals since 1960. According to my Texas relatives way back when, you had to pick a side between Dallas and Houston. That explains why the Cowboys are where they are. But why do I also hate the Titans? They fled Texas three decades ago, and my blood boiled when they took the field the other day in Houston Oilers uniforms.

Clown shit: Jets, Chargers, Commanders, Panthers, Cardinals. 

The quality of play would be better if at least two of these franchises were terminated. But as long as NFL franchises continue to resemble mobile money printing presses that's wishful thinking.

WHAT MADE ME SMILE 

Wednesday. My blood work. My Del Taco lunch. My GTA Online character (and I) finishing a very difficult casino mission solo to earn this armored, weaponized luxury car as a reward. I painted it a metallic brown so it looks like root beer in sunlight. It was one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time.

My best friend off the blog christened me Johnny Darkness at about the same this week after I told him about my recent GTA Online exploits. Not only did I get a good chuckle from that, I responded by telling him it’s only fitting if I call Darkness from the anime Konosuba my waifu. She’s quite an interesting character, and I tend to be a blonde magnet for some odd reason...

WHO DESERVES A SLAP

The Grim Reaper. Why did he have to take Reggie Savage and Gil De Ferran at the end of the year? It’s a little unnerving that I’m outliving famous athletes that are around my age.

WHO DESERVES A FIST BUMP

Las Vegas Raiders interim head coach Antonio Pierce. Mark Davis needs to do the right thing and remove the interim tag. The Raiders have had the NFL’s best defense since Pierce took the reins, and if they somehow sneak into the playoffs and get at least marginal quarterbacking they could be dangerous.

WHAT’S UP WITH MY WRITING

I lied. I said I’d wait until the New Year to edit my manuscript, and guess what happened Thursday morning? I've had a mental picture of the revised opening scene in my head for quite some time and I didn’t want to forget it before the New Year rolled around. 

I have the first chapter edited and I’ll probably start working on the next chapter later today.

On a final note, my GTA Online character and I want to wish y'all a Happy New Year! I also gave her graying hair this week since mine is also slowly turning that color. We're getting older, and we're also getting better at the same time.