What Happened To Me?!: Volume 1, Chapter 2

WHAT’S UP WITH MY HEALTH

I have another head cold, or maybe I never shook off the one I had last week. I'm not sure. I’ve taken Airborne every night since Wednesday to pump up my immune system. Other than the occasional Ricola cough drop I'm managing my symptoms just fine, but I miss working out. 

I only lost 0.6 pounds this week. I had to increase my caloric intake a bit to combat this cold, but I think the real culprit was those “zero net carb” tortillas. I can’t believe I fell for that marketing bullshit when I already know highly processed carbs aren’t good for us.

WHAT I WASTED $20 ON

Black Rifle Coffee's Kodiak Attack. You figure a bag of coffee that has a growling grizzly bear printed on it would put hair on your chest, but the brew was weaker than Target branded toilet paper. After I threw the bag in the trash, I felt like I needed to grovel to a bag of Peet’s Major Dickason's Blend for forgiveness.

WHAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH FOR ABOUT $200

A cordless Black & Decker leaf blower/vacuum/mulcher and a spare battery. This was a necessary purchase with all of the landscaping changes on the property. To test it out, I used it as a blower for about 20 minutes to remove fallen leaves off a good portion of the mulch and then herd them into a pile. I then switched out the blower hose for a vacuum hose and a collection bag and picked them up for easy disposal.

My new toy perfectly fits my idea of doing yard work. Work smarter, not harder.

WHAT I LISTENED TO

Ahnold. I loved the Arnold Schwarzenegger episode of Smartless I heard the other day. Even though we do not see eye to eye on some political matters, he’s one of the few Republicans out there I’d call reasonable.

WHAT I READ ON MY PAPERWHITE

I read a half dozen manga titles this past week, but the one that left the biggest impression on me was the final volume of Girlfriend, Girlfriend. I’m satisfied with how everything turned out but I wish their story would continue. 

I'll miss Shino, the light haired girl on the left. She's like the Japanese version of Charlotte York.

WHAT I WATCHED

A ton of new and returning anime shows during the past ten days. Some are wholesome and will leave you feeling like the world isn’t such a shit hole. Others will stretch boundaries for taste and decorum. Then there’s a couple I won't name that made me fear I’ll be consumed by the flames of Hades when I die.

In other words, it’s just another new anime season.

WHAT MADE ME SMILE 

The fact I test my blood sugar first thing in the morning and try to lose weight because I want to, and not because I’m required to. 

WHO’S IN SLAP COURT THIS WEEK

The defendant: Formula E team Mahindra.

The crime: They hired a beautiful brunette influencer named Ava to showcase the team’s journey during the upcoming Formula E season.… except she’s not a woman. Or a man posing as as woman. Or a human, for that matter. She’s an AI creation. It doesn’t matter if the team “fired” Ava due to overwhelming backlash. The true crime is they could have hired a real, live, annoying, self righteous influencer in the first place.

The sentence: Making Mahindra team principal Frederick Bertrand wear a Speedo while posing as a “grid boy” during this weekend’s season opening race in Mexico City is too cruel for us. He gets two slaps for the deed, and an extra one to knock some diversity and inclusion into him.

WHO DESERVES A FIST BUMP

Tom Brady. While everyone is lauding Bill Belichick for his Hall of Fame coaching career, props should go to the person responsible for making that a reality. Without Brady at quarterback, “The Hoodie” is just another decent coach that gets fired within five seasons, just like when he coached the original Cleveland Browns.

Speaking of hoodies…

WHAT I EARNED VIA GAMING

Exclusive merch. I’ve wanted this champagne hoodie for my GTA Online character for quite some time, and now that we’ve completed all six casino missions on Hard Mode and thirteen different casino work jobs this past week she has what I’ll call a wearable trophy. You can’t buy this hoodie at Suburban or Ponsonby. You gotta earn it to wear it.

This is my character modeling the hoodie in her penthouse garage. It’s currently part of an outfit she wears when she’s not criming — err, conducting business transactions.

WHAT’S UP WITH MY WRITING

I knew Act I, aka the first 20% or so of my novel, would require the most work. I axed several chapters and replaced them with new ones, and the chapters I kept needed a major overhaul for a variety of reasons. I’m pleased to announce I only have two existing chapters left to edit before I can move on to Act II.