Not So Random Thoughts On a Thorsday Eve

Late last night, I learned the hard way that no matter how much I prepare for the worst outcome I'm never fully prepared for it when it happens. Just before midnight, at the same moment I climbed out of bed to do something about my sinus congestion, I received the news I've been dreading for the past couple of months: the eldest sister that was in a convalescent home passed away.

I had a gut feeling that when I saw her in person a few months back I was saying goodbye to her, and I was proven right. I know she suffered greatly since 2021, and a part of me is relieved that she's now at peace. Or at least I hope so. I heard her final few weeks were not peaceful.

I got so little sleep last night that I'm shocked my Fitbit gave me a 51 sleep score, let alone any score. All I remember is that I passed out around 1:30, awoke at four and then lied awake in bed until six.

When I climbed out of bed, I didn't want to do anything other than make it. I wanted to skip my Zumba workout. I wanted to cancel my plans to take Artoria to my old 'hood and visit my friend at the comics shop.  

Then I stepped on the scale and those storm clouds disappeared -- I'm a full pound less than I was on Saturday!

I ended up doing my Zumba workout and then drove Artoria to the mall where my friend works to do a little "retail therapy"...

Every September I buy a new Raiders hat, and the store I normally visit had a half off sale on a second hat. The one on the left is similar to my all black Raiders hat, and it has Davante Adams's autograph and jersey number stitched on its side. The one on the right is what they call a "golf" hat, and as someone that once owned a set of clubs I thought it would be perfect to wear while driving Miku with the top down.

I also got out most of my aggressions regarding my sister's passing until I removed the Fitbit from my wrist at around 1:15pm. That image isn't Photoshopped. I racked up 97(!) Zone Minutes from Zumba and the rest was from walking around the mall afterward. I'm sure I would've cracked 12k steps if I were still wearing the tracker at the time I wrote this.

I got to see my friend, and like everyone else in my orbit she got grayer and fluffier since the pandemic. We caught up on each other's lives, but to be honest my mind wasn't all there and I'm glad she understood why. I wasn't the smooth operator today. I just wanted to be with someone that could soothe my wounded soul, and she perfectly fits the bill.

I don't know what the coming days will bring, but I know I have to go clothes shopping for a funeral soon.