Reborn As An Early Retiree, I Now Wander America’s Costliest City: Volume 2, Bonus Chapter

 

It’s the end of the quarter, also known as the Bonus Chapter of a manga or light novel. We get to do Volume 3 starting next week! 

Oh, some parts of this entry will get a little spicy so I'll warn you what section to skip later in the post. — Robzilla

WHAT’S ON MY MIND

My health. My blood work results were reviewed on Friday morning, and in my PCP’s words they look excellent. I’m not sure when I’ll need to do lab work again, but I’m thrilled that I can continue living a medication free existence for the foreseeable future.

On the flip side, there’s a certain part of my anatomy that thinks I’m young again after stepping up my cardio workouts. While that sounds glorious to a middle aged man, it’s not when it disrupts my sleep. If I decide to seek medical counsel, I pray to God the doctor is male to spare me the embarrassment of discussing the matter on camera or in person. 

WHAT I ATE

That red velvet bundt cake I bought on Thursday? I demolished it in one sitting. Whoops!

WHAT I BOUGHT

Other than food I didn’t buy anything. Shocking, isn’t it?

WHAT I LISTENED TO

97.3 The Fan. I’ve been listening to bits and pieces of San Diego Padres games on a portable radio while reading lately. Old school can be fun school, too.

WHAT SACRED TEXTS I READ

• Kakegurui: Compulsive Gambler, Volume 17
• A Couple of Cuckoos, Volume 19
• My Girlfriend’s Not Here Today, Volume 2

Also in progress from J-Novel Club…

• The Royal Hostage Has Vanished: The Black Wolf Yearns For The Persecuted Princess, Volume 2
• The Hero And The Sage: Reincarnated And Engaged, Volume 2
• The Poison King: Now That I’ve Gained Ultimate Power, The Bewitching Beauties In My Harem Can’t Get Enough Of Me, Volume 2 (completed?)
• An Introvert’s Hookup Hiccups: This Gyaru Is Head Over Heels For Me!, Volume 8 (completed)
• Duchess In The Attic, Volume 2 

WHAT I WATCHED

I’m thrilled that the Spice & Wolf reboot is getting a second season. It’s easily one of the best romance animes I’ve ever seen, and I love the dynamic between Lawrence and the wolf spirit Holo. She’s flirtatious and manipulative, a deadly combination in anyone if you ask me.

If the original anime from 2008 is available on your streaming service, go check it out.

WHAT SPICY THING MADE ME CLUTCH MY PEARLS 

Okay, it's that time to turn away or head straight to the Slapsville section of this entry if you're easily offended. If you're still reading... *exhales deeply*

A porn star I won’t name made headlines for putting two of his costars in the hospital for what I’m assuming is rough sex. While the other men were lining up to give him high fives, I searched for his online pictures and found one where he falsely measured himself to look bigger than he actually is. It’s a common thing in that industry to add an inch or two down there, y’all. 

When I looked closer at the measuring tape he was holding, my jaw dropped. I’ve always known I was “above average”, but this was the second time in a month that I noticed some, um, similarities with someone who is paid to have sex on camera. In one case it was someone that won an AVN award, the porn equivalent of the Oscars.

I’m well under six feet tall, so can you blame me for feeling a bit more self confident after learning this about myself?

AN IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT MY JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY… 

If anyone is wondering why I’m discussing such spicy personal matters lately please consider my personal journey. A year ago I was well over 300 pounds and for all intents and purposes I was invisible to the world for the past decade. I got into reasonable shape, and then I started getting noticed by women. As I recall my past dating history, especially between the ages of 24 and 32, I’m rediscovering certain things about myself. It’s a little overwhelming to the point I have to remember I lived that life so I don't get impostor syndrome.

Remembering all of those wild times, including my escapades whenever I bought condoms at gas stations, markets and drug stores on the way to those dates, fills me with both laughter and trepidation because…

WHAT BRAVE THING I DID

I signed up for an online dating site. As of this writing I haven’t completed my profile. I’m writing a humorous one that makes light of being a retiree and a football fan, and once I take a few photos it will go live. 

And no, I'm not taking those kind of photos. Nor did I make any mention of… never mind. Let’s head back to PG-rated territory, peeps!

WELCOME TO SLAPSVILLE…

Last week I was the Mayor of Slapsville. I struck up a pleasant, lively conversation with a pretty older blonde at the market and then I failed to summon the courage to ask her out. It doesn’t matter what the outcome could have been. I should’ve stepped up to the plate, and I’ve been kicking my own ass for the missed opportunity ever since.

This week it’s the Las Vegas Raiders for collectively shitting the bed against the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. That’s 52 slaps, one for each player. It was so bad that it seemed like only one team showed up to play.

A FIST BUMP GOES TO…

Can I have it for my blood work results? A 4.8 AC1 and a total cholesterol number well below 200 speaks volumes about my hard work and determination to get in the best shape of my life.

WHAT’S UP WITH MY HEALTH

Despite Del Taco and Nothing Bundt Cakes, I still lost 0.8 lbs this week and I’m at 259 on the nose. I gave myself permission to go as high as 261 to celebrate my birthday, so don’t mind me if I hit up Del Taco again for lunch this afternoon before I get back on the weight loss wagon. Toodles!