That One Time I...

...Played My Own Version of "Guy's Grocery Games"

This morning I needed to drop by Vons for one of those Vicks care packages, also known as a NyQuil/DayQuil combo pack to treat colds and flus. I was running low on the latter, and I also wanted a broccoli crust pizza for tonight's Los Angeles Dodgers/San Diego Padres playoff game. 

I was also masked up, but not due to any fears of catching COVID-19. I'm trying to help promote proper drainage in my sinuses the natural way so I don't end up at Urgent Care in pain and begging for antibiotics at some point in the near future.

I checked myself out at the self server cashier, and then an on screen warning popped up about purchasing an age sensitive item. A slim redhead roughly my age sauntered over to my register and as she scanned her ID card to override the system I cracked, "I guess I can't pass for under 30 anymore."

She smiled and as she typed in a few buttons I tried to show her my drivers license to verify my actual age. She mumbled something about what she thought my age was, and I watched as her index finger inputted a fake birth date on the touch screen. She got the month right, but as she walked away I noticed the birth year was 1985.

I often make jokes that I'm 39 with sixteen years experience and I also try not to have an inflated ego, but I'm not going to lie. If a woman tried to pick me up, I discovered at that moment that if she told me I'm a lot younger than my actual age that would earn her bonus points.

I don't make a habit of shitting where I eat, so I simply thanked the employee courteously for her assistance and then went on my merry way feeling a bit taller than I did before I entered the store.