Reborn As An Early Retiree, I Now Wander America’s Costliest City: Volume 3, Chapter 5

 

WHAT’S ON MY MIND

I don’t have a hangover? 

I partied the last two nights, and I felt perfectly fine the morning after both times. I have an interesting update from last night’s block party regarding the opposite sex, but that deserves a separate post in the near future. I also gained an alarming amount of weight this week from weight training and the aforementioned events. Ara ara!

I drove Artoria and then Miku to Bert’s place on consecutive days, and now I’m firmly committed to this MINI Cooper throuple we’ve got going on. I love them for the varied driving experiences they provide me.

WHAT I ATE

I really, really enjoyed consuming copious amounts of the unholy trinity of added sugar, carbs, and fat the past two nights, further proof that Halloween can be just like the other holidays coming up. It’s a safe bet I’ll have a salad on Thanksgiving and use a tad more restraint on Christmas and New Year’s Eve.

WHAT I BOUGHT

2” wide painters tape in black. It’s perfect to camouflage Miku’s window gap when she’s not driven, and it also protects her interior when it rains.

WHERE I’M GOING

A clothing store. After last night’s events I definitely need a couple more pairs of jeans and perhaps another shirt of two. It’s somewhat related to the women I got to know better at last night’s block party.

WHAT I LISTENED TO

The Scorpion’s “World Wide Live” album. I’m sure a lot of the younguns crawling beside me at 15 mph on the 15 the past two afternoons will never understand why I looked so happy vibing in the driver’s seat while either Artoria or Miku blasted “Coming Home” or “Bad Boys Running Wild” from their speakers. 

Well, I’ll tell you why… did you know some of those live tracks were recorded at the former San Diego Sports Arena? It’s true, and that local connection helped make this album one of my favorites during my high school years.

WHAT SACRED TEXTS I READ

Cat + Gamer, Volume 6. Sadly, I did not make time to read the latest J-Novel excerpts this week. Moving on…

WHAT I WATCHED

Like A Dragon: Yakuza. Well, the first two episodes with Bert on consecutive nights. I forewarned him the acting is not on par with American shows, but it was still enjoyable. I look forward to watching the remaining four episodes.

WELCOME TO SLAPSVILLE…

Someone from the Big Dick Problems subreddit recently bullied members at Small Dick Problems with unsolicited dick pics and/or hit on their women. I only know this from a mod post regarding this matter, and I’m fucking furious at whoever did this.

In high school a former girlfriend that I never had sex with spread a nasty rumor that I was, ahem, lacking down there at a time when I wasn’t fully developed. I know what it’s like firsthand to feel inadequate and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Forget the slaps. Smash it with a cinder block so it will never happen again.

A FIST BUMP GOES TO…

Bert. He can help host quite the block party, and I look forward to assisting him with something for Christmas.

WHAT’S UP WITH MY WRITING

So far I’ve written a foreword chapter for the new book to introduce myself, under my pen name of course. I also disclosed some intimate details so there’s no mistake that some of my misadventures in the following pages deviate from the norm.

I’m in the middle of writing a Prologue chapter in which I disclose how my Arnold Palmer moment occurred in a health club locker room. While I can put a humorous spin on the event now, when it happened it was actually horrifying. I was nineteen and still a practicing Roman Catholic at the time, and you know how those people view sex.

WHAT’S UP WITH MY HEALTH

I’m up to 261.6 and only one of those pounds I gained was muscle. The rest is a direct result of the epicurean debauchery I committed the past two nights. 

Believe it or not, I’m quite happy with this teaching moment. I need to enjoy life from time to time, and now I see firsthand what happens when I don’t limit myself. I will show much more restraint on Christmas and New Year’s Eve when it comes to unhealthy food and beverages.

And now I must hydrate myself for Zoomies. Yes, the show must go on!