Random Thoughts On A Monday Morning

I’m posting a lot lately, but a lot's going on. Such as…

I’m planning a trip up the California coast during the first half of the year. I won’t say where I’m going, which MINI I’ll drive, or whether or not it’s a solo adventure. It’s a place that I’ve wanted to visit for a very long time after a former resident told me how nice it was three decades ago.

I’m waiting for my sister to let me know the exact dates she’s traveling in 2025 so I can reserve a hotel room for a four night stay. I could hint it’s in wine country, but in California that could mean anywhere that’s not within the Sierra Nevada mountains or the Mojave Desert. I’ll keep you in suspense until after I come home from the trip.

I’m so excited that I can’t wait to visit the TUMI store to buy expandable check in luggage sometime after Christmas.

***

I had a thought provoking chat with Bert about The Muse, and I unblocked her mere hours before she came up for air. It was a brief text exchange and for good reason. She has an important client meeting scheduled for Monday morning, and she was so behind on work Thursday night that she’s working throughout the weekend.

The flags she flew the past two weeks will be set to yellow based on Bert’s reassurances. I’ll also give her a free pass on the age lie. I don’t care why she did it, but I love that she’s only nine years younger than I. That’s a good lie in my book.

***

In closing, I need to be a better man. I should also disclose why I wrote Friday’s and Saturday’s posts for context. On Thursday night, I thought I seriously fucked up. 

When I discovered The Muse’s age lie I tried to reassure her everything was fine by confessing I liked how she made pretty look effortless the night we met. I really mean that. She wasn’t wearing makeup and her hair was in a high ponytail, so I thought that would lift her spirits. Little did I know at the time some women don't appreciate comments about their beauty, and based on The Muse’s cool demeanor afterward I thought she was one of them. 

To make things worse, later in the call The Muse told me she draws manga/anime characters for fun. I thought it was safe to admit I read manga and watch anime. For women of a certain age, manga and anime are either fun, trendy hobbies or girlfriend repellent. Most of the time it’s the latter, and the room felt a bit icy by the time we ended the call.

Between those two things and the fact she did not respond to Friday’s text when I checked in on her, it’s no surprise I got defensive and reacted the way I did. I’m dealing with emotions that I haven’t experienced in a very long time, but do I have an excuse for acting like I’m a teenager all over again? I know I should cut myself some slack, but part of me is screaming “Grow the fuck up!” at the same time.

Being a Virgo’s hard, y’all. I’m often my own worst enemy.