That One Time I...

…Adjusted To The Playing Field

I want y'all to please keep in mind that the following rant does not apply to all women, just the “modern women” that give all women a bad name. This may or may not apply to The Muse. That will be determined over the next few weeks. 

So without further ado, let’s rip!

I thought with the passage of time the dating scene would have improved over the past two decades. Sadly, things are far worse than I’ve ever imagined. It’s not just a hell on earth. It’s the third level of Hades that requires six layers of skin to survive the flames licking your backside.

One thing I’ve discovered recently is the “six-six-six” standard women have for men. For those of you unaware, modern women require men to be six feet tall (14% of all men), have a six figure salary (17% of all men), and be six inches erect (19% of all men, but only if they’re measured correctly and truthfully!). 

I wish I could make these dating requirements up but it’s a real thing and it’s not new. I saw the writing on the wall two decades ago when I no longer got a free pass for my height, and if anyone thinks I’ll cry a river on an upcoming TikTok video over this think again. I value myself, and in a dating world where everything is now transactional I’ll be a good Marine’s son and adapt to survive in 2025. 

Here’s how I’ll do that.

• I’ll give what I receive in effort going forward. If a modern woman is low effort, then she should be thrilled with the cup of coffee she deserves for a first date. And that’s assuming we even make it that far.
• For financial matters, I require a prenup if I ever get married. I expect to be treated as an equal, so we’ll always split things 50/50 on dates. If they want expensive things, then they better get a second job to afford them.
• I should demand something in return for sex. Men like me are the top 1% and when we combine technique with our size we offer a premium experience. We should be compensated accordingly. Money. Clothes. Accessories. Whatever. As for myself, I prefer the rarest of items such as empathy, kindness, and appreciation. 

The good news is I don't reciprocate and establish my own "Satanic" rules for women. I like to keep things simple as follows:

Women generally look like Kathy Ireland (1%), the Hunchback of Notre Dame (1%), or anything in between (98%). The thing is, a woman in that 98% group can easily use her personality to either be hotter than Kathy Ireland in my eyes (yes they can!), or be so undesirable that I’ll run like Barry Sanders the moment they close the distance between us.

Therefore, I leave the ball in a modern woman’s court. It’s up to them to decide who they want to be if they want to be taken seriously. Be a boss bitch at your own peril!