That One Time I...

… Needed Source Material For A Novel

I need to go on a shitty date. A few of them, actually. Maybe even attend one of those singles events that from what I hear are women exclusive due to men giving up on love.

I ditched my 2023 novel last night. I’ve long complained, mostly quietly, that romance novels and movies reinforce the stereotype that men six feet and taller are the only desirable ones. Like porn and its focus on penis size, this stereotype is just as harmful to a majority of men walking the earth.

I’m comfortable being “vertically challenged” while possessing other highly desirable attributes, but a lot of men aren’t as fortunate or self confident as I. It’s heartbreaking when a guy that’s got me by two, even three inches in height cry about their dating woes. They’ll confess to wearing lifts in their shoes to appear taller. They’ll consider surgery to have their legs broken to grow an extra inch or three. They’ll be five ten or eleven, which by the way is above average height, and fudge their online dating profiles to be that coveted six to appeal to some women whose minds were warped by Harlequin and Hallmark. 

So why would I want to contribute to this problem to my own detriment? That’s the question that haunts me about my past writing efforts dating back two decades. Just like bench pressing 300 pounds for ten reps, I won’t even try to prove I can still do it. All I see is an injury risk that far exceeds bragging rights.

With that in mind, I have a new idea for a book. It’s a romance tale woven within a dark comedy novel that pokes fun at today’s dating scene. If I write it to the best of my abilities, then I hope my married readers will cherish the ones they’re with and work hard to make their union last a lifetime. I hope the single men and women out there realize they’re good enough just the way they are and deserve much better. Perhaps even each other? I would love to see that happen.

And then there’s a certain segment of the population that I expect to get their thongs twisted in a bunch over a few scenes in my tale. They will record TikTok clips on their phones and tell on themselves when they call me an incel, a pussy, a beta, or a faggot in response. I wouldn’t mind seeing that as well. If they've read the book, that means I'll cash a royalty check stained with their angst and tears. 

So now I need to work on a rough outline, character sketches, etc., to get this ball rolling. I'll also need some source material for inspiration. Perhaps the next time I chat up a woman while shopping I’ll ask them out for coffee or to be my “foodie call”? 

And even if such a date "backfires" and results in a long term relationship with a wonderful woman, the proposed book is still considered a work of fiction at the end of the day.