52,798. That’s how many words I wrote during the month of November. While that word count qualifies me for “winning” NaNoWriMo, I feel neither a sense of accomplishment or anything else for that matter as the month closes.
Surpassing 50,000 words on this solitary journey is merely a milestone. As December arrives, I’ll continue writing the first draft of Bullets & Baguettes, or whatever this novel will eventually be called once I’m done editing it sometime in 2024. While so much of Cassie Hendricks’s story has already been told in my Scrivener file, there’s still more to come. Much more.
I estimate about 18,000 more words will be sufficient to wrap things up in this novel. During this past month, I decided that if I get this one published I have some good ideas for a second and even a third one to complete her story arc. It’s not enough to see her life deconstructed and put back together in a new way. I want to see her prosper as a changed person and evolve into the person I believe she is.
In the meantime, I’ll just give myself a pat on the back and grab my PS5 controller. It's time to create a little mayhem in Los Santos.
This was my first full week of exercise in awhile, and the sore muscles throughout my body are proof I didn’t slack off.
HOW I’M FEELING MENTALLY
I’m refreshed after taking a short break from writing. I’ll never write for 19 days in a row again, that’s for sure.
THE BLOOD GLUCOSE METER SAYS…
Fasting (average): 94 mg/dL
2 hours after a meal (average): 115 mg/dL
My fasting average is higher due to Thanksgiving and the sin objects I had a couple of nights. As long as that number doesn’t creep up any higher it’s no big deal in the grand scheme of things.
THE FITBIT ARIA SAYS…
This week: -2.0 lbs
Cumulative: -22.0 lbs.
It’s nice when this result is the new normal. I might have to shop for new clothes in a smaller size soon.
THE HOLIDAY SIN OBJECTS
For some people, Jesus is the reason for the season. I know the season is the reason for the existence of Ghirardelli’s peppermint bark chocolates. I proudly own a bag, and I’ll do my best to limit myself to two squares a week.
Is it Tuesday yet?
THE WEEKLY RETAIL THERAPY REPORT
I bought this beautiful Raiders flag to non-verbally reply to Chargers fans “bless their hearts” when they tell me my team sucks. Or to remind them they’ll never have their own championship flag to fly on game day now that the Spanos Family’s Reign of Error is on its third generation. Either explanation works.
WHAT I LISTENED TO
Stephen Curry was this week’s guest on the Smartless podcast, and I had almost forgotten he’s a better human being than he is a basketball player. It’s impossible to hate him, even after he sinks a 3-point shot to beat your team at the buzzer.
WHAT I READ
I’m finishing up High School DxD, Volume 12, but like the prior volume I can’t give the deets. If there’s a Season 5 of the anime series, I can tell you the end of the first episode would have a shocking plot twist that would make fans very sad.
WHO DESERVES TO BE SLAPPED
Me. I attempted to brew coffee without the coffee two mornings in a row.
WHO DESERVES A FIST BUMP
Champion Brodie Kostecki. Saying that confirms you don’t need to be a factory backed team to win an Aussie Supercars championship. This means Betty Klimenko, who looks like she’d kick your ass at a biker bar but is one of the nicest people you’d ever meet, joins an exclusive club: women that own a championship racing team.
It’s a remarkable feat when you consider that Erebus Racing had no drivers or sponsors just after New Year’s 2021.
WHAT MADE ME SMILE
Derek Chauvin was stabbed in prison. I celebrated the good news by redoing The Prison Contract in GTA Online, where in the finale my character broke into a prison and assassinated a handful of inmates in the central yard area.
WHAT MADE ME LAUGH
When my brother told my sister he played Yahtzee with me for the first time, she was like “What’s a Yahtzee?!” I found it both shocking and amusing that the game has been around since before both of them were born.
WHAT’S THE LATEST ON MY WRITING?
After a well deserved three-day break, I wrote half of a chapter yesterday before I was summoned for an impromptu yard work session by family members. This morning I’ll finish that chapter and start the next one.
It's back, at least for this morning. I have a number of random things on my mind that don't require a post for themselves, but I need to get them out of my head so I can get on with my day. You know the drill. Two sentences each and then I move on... -- Robzilla
My blood test when I woke up was 107. While the number is acceptable, it's a reminder that whatever we eat for dinner the prior night can still affect our bodies first thing in the morning.
I took the last two days off from writing, and I'm taking two more. I tried writing a new chapter on Wednesday morning, and after one paragraph I put it aside until Sunday morning.
I have no plans for Black Friday unless it's to visit the pharmacy. I emailed my doctor on Wednesday and they refilled only my testing items.
In plan English, that means I might get to see how my body regulates blood sugar without the use of drugs depending on my Christmas time blood work.
If my body can do that sufficiently for three months, then my hidden disability is considered in remission. While that is potentially great news, I have more weight to lose so I won't revert to the way I used to be.
During the past couple of months, I discovered why Carl's Jr sometimes made my stomach ill. It wasn't food poisoning, but my body overloaded with carbs and sodium.
I also discovered two Del Taco crunchy tacos and a medium fry were only 64 grams of carbohydrates, roughly my carb intake every day at lunch. I might have to treat myself next Wednesday to see how my body reacts to that meal.
Black Friday means Christmas presents and this morning I got one early. Jack Del Rio got fired from the Washington Commanders this morning.
I used to love "Big Balls Jack" when he was the Oakland Raiders head coach, and then he showed who he was after the George Floyd protests and the January 6th insurrection. Fuck that guy.
That's all I've got for today. Try to stay safe out there.
I want to thank everyone for visiting my little corner of the world. It's an honor to be part of such a wonderful blogging community. I hope your loved ones and you have a joyous day today.
Yes, I'm having that frozen Hungry Man dinner tonight. With 55 grams of carbs and enough sodium to make me retain water for Saturday's weigh in, I wonder what my blood sugar will be two hours after its consumption as well as the following morning.
Don't feel sorry for me for spending the holiday alone. After my father died, us survivors agreed to stop having holiday meals together. It's too much work in the kitchen to feed so few. Besides, back when we had more family members alive our dinners were the unscripted versions of what you saw on The Jerry Springer Show in the 90s. I'm too old for that shit.
Today is also the day when it's okay to put up the Christmas tree, start streaming holiday music, and laugh at people fighting over an $89 65" big screen TV that's going to last two years tops.
I know I'd be stating the obvious here but I'm thankful I stopped working retail two decades ago, back when everyone closed their stores on this special day.
For those who celebrate, Happy John Madden Appreciation Day! I know there's gotta be at least one other person besides me that's thinking about the late, legendary Oakland Raiders coach and CBS broadcaster today.
My life has become a duality. I’m exhausted but I won’t rest. I’m weary but I’m optimistic. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels, and then I make progress.
Ah, the writing life. I wouldn’t trade this feeling for the best day I ever had in my prior careers.
THE BLOOD GLUCOSE METER SAYS…
Fasting (average): 92 mg/dL
2 hours after a meal (average): 115 mg/dL
My fasting average is unchanged. Although my average after a meal is one point higher than last week it’s still well within my target range. No worries there.
THE FITBIT ARIA SAYS…
This week: -2.2 lbs.
Cumulative: -20.0 lbs.
I’ve officially lost 20 pounds. Not bad for someone that couldn’t do any weight training this week.
THE SATURDAY NIGHT SIN MEAL
I briefly flirted with the idea of making chili cheese fries, but then I read the chili can’s nutritional label. I really, really don’t want that much sodium in my body all at once, so I passed and went with the usual.
THE WEEKLY RETAIL THERAPY REPORT
I would have gladly paid a king’s ransom for a full sized, authentic San Diego State Aztecs “calendar” helmet but I’ll have to settle for this miniature replica for my book shelf.
I also love how it retains the best logo any sports team in San Diego has ever had. Fear the spear!
WHAT I LISTENED TO
I was never a big R.E.M. fan, but I really enjoyed listening to Michael Stipe on the Smartless podcast on Monday morning.
WHAT I READ
The Passtronaut. It’s a wonderful BBC article on Minnesota Vikings journeyman quarterback turned savior Joshua Dobbs, who in his spare time is an… aerospace engineer! Count me as one of his fans now.
WHAT I CONQUERED
Everyone has their white whale, and for the past year and a half mine was an auto shop job called The Agency Deal in the game GTA Online. The first two missions were easy, but the last one vexed me to the point where I stopped trying.
I assumed I’d never unlock the auto shop’s full earnings potential, but two days ago I noticed I’ve improved a lot when I play click-clack-bang against NPC mercenaries and gang members. I’m more patient now, and I’ll let the “action” come to me rather than rush things. I decided to give that last mission a try on Friday night and easily completed it.
I’m not going to lie. In a world that’s becoming increasingly shitty, I find it cathartic to leave my moral compass behind for a few hours when I grab a PS5 controller.
WHO DESERVES TO BE MUTED
Alexa. She currently suffers from a malady that doesn’t have a medical term. She’s like that annoying person in your life that tells you how the watch was made when all you want them to do is tell you the time.
I have no need to listen to top stories that will raise my blood pressure, the daily reminders to reorder things that will sabotage my fitness goals, or hear about surf advisories when I’m more likely to be harpooned at the beach than carried away by a six-foot wave.
WHO DESERVES A FIST BUMP
YG, with an assist from the late, great Nipsey Hustle. On Friday morning, I started playing “FDT” on Akeno’s stereo at a volume that resembled the mating call of a young man driving a slammed Japanese import hatchback around the neighborhood.
In that moment, I just didn’t care if the world viewed me with jaundiced eyes. My soul needed to be heard, and I’m grateful they can speak for me in such profane terms.
WHAT MADE ME SMILE
The stock market reversing most of its losses from October.
WHAT’S THE LATEST ON MY WRITING?
My current project was originally going to be 50 chapters long, and then I felt it needed six more to tell parts of the story from the love interest’s side. I’m at roughly the 60% mark of the first draft, and now I strongly believe one chapter needs to be broken up into three chapters to make it a stronger story.
I’m also feeling the effects of writing every day since the first of the month. Part of me wants to take a break, but every time I see where I left off I want to resume right there and then. I suppose that’s a good sign this project is going well?
... Gave Up A Writing Project, But Kept Writing Anyway
Now that I have your attention, I can explain why I titled this post with an eye catching phrase.
During the last handful of days, the forums on the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) website have been locked down. I used to tell people that writing is a solitary journey, but without the interaction of fellow writers the past few days I really felt alone. I no longer had the ability to post my word counts, my triumphs and struggles, and even what made me happy that day.
There are serious allegations being thrown around in the forums about a now ex-forum moderator that date back about six months. To spare you the graphic details, it's a word that starts with a G and rhymes with looming.
Until late last night, I was unaware of what was going on behind the scenes.
The more I read up on the sordid deets, the more enraged I became. Not just because these allegations feel like there's some truth behind them. I'm angry with how the other forum moderators have mishandled everything from the beginning.
To me, it looks like there's an attempt to sweep things under the rug rather than deal with the issue accordingly. From having the now former moderator stop what they're doing, to the banning of people from the forums for asking questions, it seems like its a real fuck nugget fiesta. People are hurt, upset, angry, bewildered, and understandably so. Their voices should be heard, not silenced.
I was a generous donor to the NaNoWriMo programs, but I won't associate with them going forward.
Despite this drama playing out in real time, I still have a novel to write. With every passing day my writing and narrative voice are filling me up with confidence. I would even go as far as saying this year's first draft reads like last year's third or fourth draft.
I have just under 36,000 words written so far, and as of yesterday I reached the halfway point of Bullets & Baguettes. I no longer care about whether or not I write 50,000 words during the month of November, but I care about these characters so much I can't wait to finish this first draft. Then I can read the entire story so I can take notes on what needs improvement during the first round of edits in January 2024.
The drama is over. The latest cycle of antibiotics is done. The infections have subsided. The nasty cut I got Monday night from mishandling a chef’s knife that was sharpened by Rose Wilson is also healing nicely. My dumb ass got nicked while I was hand washing the blade in the sink.
HOW I’M FEELING MENTALLY
I’m doing a lot better now that I don’t have to worry about discovering a new and very painful bug bite somewhere on my body every morning. The Mighty Mint I sprayed last Sunday did the job. It either killed that bug, or drove it outside the house. Nothing has happened since.
THE BLOOD GLUCOSE METER SAYS…
Fasting (average): 92 mg/dL
2 hours after a meal (average): 114 mg/dL
My glucose levels after a meal have decreased a couple of points since last week, which is great news. Even better news is that average includes the 117 I tested at two hours after my latest cheat meal.
THE FITBIT ARIA SAYS…
This week: -2.2 lbs.
Cumulative: -20 lbs.
This was a pleasant surprise considering I couldn’t exercise all week on doctor’s orders.
THE SATURDAY NIGHT SIN MEAL
A boneless rib eye steak and steak fries. I wanted to buy a New York strip on Friday, but Vons jacked up the prices on them so much it made more economical sense to buy a marbled masterpiece.
WHAT I LISTENED TO
Marshawn Lynch was this week’s guest on the Smartless podcast, and I officially forgive him for his DUI arrest in Vegas awhile back. Us Americans love our flawed heroes, don’t we?
WHAT I READ
Cult of GT-R: A True Story of Crime, Obsession, and The World’s Most Coveted Car by Ryan K. ZumMallen.
This love letter to people like me would only interest gearheads, and I loved how it filled in the blanks on the supercar killer’s sordid history on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. It also bothers me that prices for Skyline GT-Rs have doubled since 2020, thanks to people that don’t drive them. That car was never meant to be a museum piece, and I’ll gladly die on that hill.
FYI, the above screenshot is from GTA Online. My character has the game’s version of 1970, 1989 and 1999 Nissan Skyline GT-Rs in her garage. The rear vanity plates on those cars say GODZILLA.
Hey, now. What do you mean I belong to a cult?
WHAT I WATCHED
Bits and pieces of Death Race 2023, also known as the first weekend of the Macau Grand Prix.
It’s one of two grand prix events that are not on the Formula 1 calendar and rightfully so. The steel guardrails and chain link fences that separate the racers from the casinos lining the fast straightaways are designed for mayhem. When a car hits them at full speed, they are often catapulted back onto the track and in harm’s way of the cars following them. It’s a wonder there’s only been three deaths in the past eleven years, and all of them were motorcycle racers.
While twelve-year-old me was amused that some of the surnames of the Chinese drivers doubled as English slang terms for genitalia and skimpy underwear, the humor they generated pales in comparison to a French Guianan basketball player named Steeve.
WHO DESERVED THE SLAP THEY RECEIVED
We had a special election on Tuesday. I won’t say their name, but it was satisfying to see the latest local Trump sycophant denied their opportunity to become an elected politician with no prior or relevant experience. This person was a co-founder of a group that opposed COVID-19 restrictions when it made all the sense in the world to self quarantine, which means as someone with a hidden disability they’re my mortal enemy.
The only thing to say about them is if they don’t care if I live or die, then I feel the same about their political “career”.
WHO DESERVES A FIST BUMP
Is it okay if I get one for losing weight without exercising?
WHAT MADE ME SMILE
This trailer for the upcoming yuri anime Whisper Me A Love Song. I was thrilled to see Himari and Yori come to life in animated form. Both of them fall in love with each other but have different definitions for it, hence a host of misunderstandings occur as their story progresses.
WHAT MADE ME CHUCKLE
Baseball cards were inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame this past week. Those beloved pictures of sports heroes (and some villains) stopped being toys the moment they became a cardboard version of the stock market during my adolescence.
I sold most of my collection a long time ago, but hung onto a small horde or cards believing they would become just as valuable down the road. Just like the stock market, sometimes unforeseen events outside of our control can make their values fluctuate, or even crater in the most extreme cases.
Take for example these graded Sammy Sosa rookie cards, back when he didn’t bleach his skin or have biceps that came with a warning label that said “Inflate to 40 PSI”. If you applied a thin layer of cork or felt on the back of their Lucite cases, maybe they would have some resale value as a drink coaster on Etsy?
WHAT’S THE LATEST ON MY WRITING?
By the time you write this, I will have surpassed 30,000 words written. I already have 24 of 55 chapters written, and once I write four more I plan on taking my first day off from writing. The best part about the experience is that I found my narrative voice. To me, it’s similar to Carrie Bradshaw from Sex In The City but in third person.
I’m tired of living out my version of Groundhog Day. Read on for the deets.
THE BLOOD GLUCOSE METER SAYS…
Fasting (average): 92 mg/dl
2 hours after a meal (average): 116 mg/dl
My averages are unchanged from last week, which is great news.
THE FITBIT ARIA SAYS…
This week: -2.4 lbs
Cumulative: -17.8 lbs.
The weight loss was surprising since...
THE WEEKLY WORKOUT REVIEW
I increased the time and intensity of my weight training workouts. For each exercise, I’m doing five sets of twelve reps with different weights. I still ride the recumbent bike for 24 minutes 3x a week, but I increased the tension of the flywheel by a click without any issues.
THE SATURDAY NIGHT SIN MEAL
I went back to a New York strip steak and steak fries this week.
THE WEEKLY RETAIL THERAPY REPORT
I bought a travel case to protect my T2D shit. There’s loops for a pen and my lancing device, a pouch for the testing meter, and a slide pocket for spare batteries and my log book. If I needed additional tools of the trade, there’s pockets and loops for those too.
There’s also a zippered compartment on the bottom left I’m calling “my pouch of little pricks”, which holds my lancets.
WHAT I LISTENED TO
I stumbled upon a playlist called Windows-Down EDM (Electronic Dance Music) on YouTube Music Wednesday morning. I thought it was the perfect mix of upbeat tunes to listen to while riding the recumbent bike. The artists included Tiesto, Kaskade and DJ Licious.
WHAT I READ
I’m muddling through a physical copy of the light novel Date A Live, Volume 10. I’ve been too busy with things to lie down and read it for any meaningful length of time. I’ll likely finish it before I go to bed on Sunday night.
WHAT DESERVES TO BE KILLED
The insidious flower bug responsible for my latest visit to the urgent care clinic and the current round of antibiotics and creams I have to use to combat the infections. By the time you read this, I’ll likely have sprayed the interior of my home with Mighty Mint to help get rid of this nuisance that invaded my home by latching onto my skin while I did yard work.
WHO DESERVES A FIST BUMP
Las Vegas Raiders owner Mark Davis even though he really needs to do something about that bowl haircut!
WHAT STILL MAKES ME SMILE
The surprise firing of Josh McDaniels and Dave Ziegler. Talk about a Halloween night treat!
WHAT’S THE LATEST ON MY WRITING?
Through Saturday night, I’ve written just over 11,000 words and ten chapters. Once I finish writing the next chapter I’ll officially be 20% completed with the first draft.
If I weren't on Metformin, I would be like Neena Thurman over here on the left and doing shots. Even at this ungodly hour.
Late last night, while my character was dancing the night away in her club in GTA Online, the Las Vegas Raiders fired head coach Josh McDaniels AND general manager Dave Ziegler.
The Patriot Way, which was supposed to bring the Raiders back to power, proved to be ineffective without Tom Brady at quarterback. Not even Jimmy Garoppolo and his charming good looks could do anything right.
I'm thankful Raiders owner Mark Davis came to his senses and said enough was enough. Hell, it was enough when McDaniels lost to a high school coach (Jeff Saturday), a bum that was picked up off the street 24 hours earlier (Baker Mayfield) and then a Division II quarterback from a college I've never heard of (Tyson Bagent).
It also bothered me that the Raiders have two Pro Bowl wide receivers (Dantae Adams & Hunter Renfrow) plus last year's rushing leader in Josh Jacobs and STILL can't score 20 points in a game. That is inexcusable.
If only I could drink up to celebrate another lost season...
