Ara Ara, Robzilla!

  WHAT’S ON MY MIND Family matters. It’s like life has become a Morrissey album, except I don’t get the urge to blow my head off after listening to the last track. All I can do is try to keep myself occupied so I don’t dwell on disturbing things that are happening. WHAT I ATE & DRANK A lemon flavored Suntory -196 to wash down a steak on Thursday night. After I spoke with my sister that afternoon regarding the family updates, I needed something resembling comfort food to take the edge off of things.  WHAT I BOUGHT A Samsung S9 FE 128GB tablet to replace the three year old Samsung A7 that picked the perfect time to die on me. It was $100 off due to a Labor Day Weekend sale. Yay! I changed my mind and signed up for NFL Sunday Ticket yesterday. I really don’t want to be tethered to my house on Sundays, but once the package price dropped roughly $70 below the renewal rate I was originally offered I jumped at it. Go Raiders! WHAT SACRED TEXTS I READ High School DxD, Volume 14 (In progres

I have an update on my brother, but all I can say is that the same health care system that requires me to pay nearly $700 a month insurance premiums is the same one that cannot give my brother the help he needs at any cost. Of course I’m being sparse with the deets for privacy reasons, but this situation is putting me in an especially surly mood.  The update on my sister in the convalescent home is also no bueno. She’s hanging in there, but it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable happens.  *** The Zumba is paying dividends. Last night I broke out my blood pressure monitor to see how I’m doing, and I was pleasantly shocked to get a 119/67 reading. I don’t recall ever doing that during the past decade. My body is also recovering quicker from the increased cardio activity.  Now if only I could get a consistent full night’s rest… *** I don’t consider myself a player or a lady killer, but I’m finding it so easy and natural to talk to women while shopping that I now feel comfortable

I know that Labor Day is coming up, and traditionally it's the hottest time of the year where I live. 90+ temperatures are common, and two years ago my 'hood was a 100 degree hell zone. Picture me shocked when I saw this on my relic of an Android phone yesterday afternoon. This could easily be the coolest Labor Day Weekend I've had in decades. Yesterday, this found its way into my shopping cart. Suntory doesn't make 9% alcohol Strong Zero anymore (I think), so they switched to this 6% alcohol version of their legendary vodka seltzers. Ever since the hilariously raunchy anime VTuber Legend made its debut on Crunchyroll in July, I've become quite fond of this stuff. Unlike the main character, I limit myself to one can twice a week.  Oh. Today is Wednesday? That means it's Miku's Day Out. Time to remove her convertible top cover and head out on some errands later this morning.

  I know I lead a blessed life when I can observe MINI Rules 1 & 9 from my front porch every day.

  I watched Saturday night's 24-24 tie between the Las Vegas Raiders and the San Fran... wait a minute. That is NOT Photoshopped.  Maybe the guy handling the graphics on the broadcast is the same guy at Amazon that had Raiders footballs shipped to Chiefs fans three years ago?

  To you, this looks like an ordinary MINI Cooper S rear bumper and chrome exhaust tips. To me, it's an ongoing restoration project that I'm thrilled to take on.  The other day The Porch Gods delivered an aftermarket kit that's as close to an exact match to Miku's Caribbean Aqua Metallic paint as I can get without visiting a MINI authorized collision center. This morning I applied the touch up paint to the bumper and her driver's side door. Later today I'll add the clear coat to finish the repairs. To this day, I'm shocked at Miku's past history. When I reviewed her Carfax report, I imagined her first owner was a wealthy gay man. She's originally from San Francisco, and then she spent just over a year in West Hollywood (WeHo) before she was acquired by Carmax.  She's also been in two accidents, now three if we're counting last week's mishap with the married woman that wanted to give me a hug afterward. When I bought Miku two months ago, s

  I'll probably burn in hell for still thinking this is hilarious eight months later. Raiders cornerback Jack Jones cemented himself as a Raiders legend when he went full Grinch on a Kansas City Chiefs fan after returning a Patrick Mahomes interception for a touchdown. I wouldn't be shocked if that kid hates silver and black so much he'll never go through a Goth phase when he becomes a teen.

  WHAT’S ON MY MIND My improving health. I purchased a bottle of MegaFood 55+ advanced multi vitamins at Sprouts that I’m popping a month early. How good are they? For about a dollar a day I can run circles around my thirty year old self and steal his girlfriends while I’m at it. I already know what you’re thinking, but if my former obese ass had a couple of thirtysomethings interested in me when I worked in the office two years ago then it’s not a stretch in my current state. A FUN FACT ABOUT ME While my first and last names have an E, an A, and an R in them, I was far too young for Carly Simon to sing about me in 1972. I giggle at that fact whenever I listen to “You’re So Vain”, like I’m doing right now. WHAT I ATE Dijon mustard and sea salt from France, plus a jar of five pepper blend peppercorns from Williams Sonoma. They’re bougie but the intense flavors mean you don’t need to use as much product as the stuff you’d find at the supermarket. They’re worth every penny. I switched bac

Oh, lordy. This silver and black knight will never find his middle aged or senior queen (or king) if this blowhard young enough to be my daughter is to be believed. *Insert eye roll here* Gaming is a wonderful hobby that allows me to escape reality for one to two hours before I prep dinner on most days. I can afford a Porsche but the base 911 model would never satisfy me. If I wanted to be foolish with my money, I'd splurge on a Porsche 911 GT3 RS. That $400k+ beauty is for track day, not to pick up gold diggers or sugar babies, but if I can't push 190 mph on our freeways without going to jail then what's the point of owning one? With a PS5 game controller I can enjoy driving that car to its limits and hang onto my money at the same time.  In summary, it's an escape from reality that makes perfect financial sense. Driving a virtual car isn't just a test of my hand-eye coordination. Tuning the car's suspension and aerodynamics also works out my brain. Does shift

Kept A Promise To God After A Nightmare Of A Journey My relationship with God is a complicated one. I believe in Him, but I can’t stand His followers. I own a Kindle copy of The Bible, yet it’s been years since I’ve opened it. A few days ago, I thought of this awkward relationship when I passed by the church I attended as a child, the same one Sensei still attends on Sunday.  A transplanted Midwestern friend dragged me to a bowling alley when I was seventeen, and after rolling a 165 in my third game with house equipment I thought I could become a pro with practice. I soon bought my first ball, a Columbia Yellow Dot that I could trust with my life, and off I went on an unexpected adventure of working a part time job to afford better equipment, lane rentals, adult league and semipro tournament fees. At twenty one, I was at my peak. Weight training with Sensei’s brother allowed me to develop one of the hardest shots you’d ever see on the lanes. It was like being a baseball pitcher with a

  These are my personal things... A Carmax vehicle inspection. Taco Bell food. Joe Isuzu. Financial advice from CNBC talking head Jim Cramer. An emotional support Western Diamondback rattlesnake. Target branded toilet paper. A pro wrestling referee. A Fiat X/14's transmission. Russian gymnastics judges. That one dude on the public bus that tried to sell me a "Rolex" watch. Any product sold on an after midnight infomercial. What would you add to the list?

  WHAT’S ON MY MIND Dating and acceptance. In the coming weeks I’ll dip my toes into the dating pool. It's time to do something about that long neglected part of my life. Bert is thrilled about this and even recommended a few sites to try. I haven't told Sensei anything. Part of me still wishes to date her and not put myself on display in the online meat market. If only life were that easy... I told my sister about my plans, and guess what she said? “Whether it’s a man or a woman, I hope they make you happy.” How cool was that little surprise? WHAT I ATE A bag of barbecue flavored Doritos. Not the big ones that you can smash in one sitting while watching Netflix, but the ones the deli sells you with a sandwich. I was under a horrific amount of stress midweek, and I needed a little something extra with my soup and salad lunch.  WHAT I BOUGHT A second trip to Williams Sonoma yielded upgraded WS kitchen utensils, a set of Epicurean cutting boards, oversized napkins and rings, and

"In football, I root for the Oakland Raiders because they hire castoffs, outlaws, malcontents, and fuckups, they have lots of penalties, fights, and paybacks, and because Al Davis told the rest of the pig NFL owners to go get fucked. Also, they don't have a lot of Christians kneeling down to pray after touchdowns. Christians are ruining sports. Someday, the Raiders will be strong again, and they will dip the ball in shit and shove it down the throats of the wholesome, white, heartland teams that pray together and don't deliver late hits." -- George Carlin I get the feeling the late George Carlin would love head coach Antonio Pierce. 

... Followed A Different Set Of Rules Of The Road If there's one thing I love about owning a couple of MINI Cooper S models, it's that you do things a little differently. It's like owning The Ultimate Driving Machine, except the driver behind the wheel is chill and not an aggressive asshole that pisses everyone off.  I believe these MINI Rules Of The Road originated in the UK, and I have to admit I enjoy following a handful of them. I wish I could enjoy this rule, but I'm frequently filled with terror that Miku or Yuki were stolen. Sometimes I can't find them within the sea of oversized SUVs or pickups in the parking lot. If I wave hello people will think I'm weirder than I already am. I just flash them a friendly smile. They're named after Hatsune Miku and Yukino Yukinoshita so we're good there. I love how two MINIs never look alike, and I'm certain Miku and Yuki are the only ones around here with Night Jack mirror caps. I treat them with ridicule

  Have you ever seen an NFL player collapse because their cleats got caught in the artificial turf? It usually results in a serious leg injury, and yours truly had a situation during Monday Morning Zumba. I was doing a spicy salsa routine when my shoe sole gripped the surface a little too much. My knee buckled for a split second, and images of my first ever ER visit flooded my mind as I awaited that telltale sign I’m injured to shoot through my leg. Except it never happened. Not only did I complete my Zumba workout, but my knee is fine. *** I had fun working on my tan today, meaning I drove Miku and enjoyed my moment of zen behind the wheel. However, I didn’t have any fun when it comes to my family. I can’t give specifics about what’s happening, so let’s just say I can’t help but think there’s a possibility there may be two family funerals to attend before the end of the year. It’s a real shit show right now. *** I removed Sunday’s post after I had a heart to heart talk with Bert, aka

 ... Channeled My Inner Rebecca Bloomwood Yesterday morning I had a crisis in my tiny kitchen. I didn't run out of Marie Sharp's habanero pepper hot sauce or parsley. It was much worse than that. The midrange Anolon frying pans I've used for a decade finally gave up the ghost. Imagine my resting "Terminator" face when I had to settle for a veggie egg scramble instead of my usual omelet for breakfast. Anolon remains one of the best "bang for your buck" pans on the market, so of course the ones I owned weren't in stock. I didn't have the luxury of waiting, not when I had perishable mushrooms and green peppers in the refrigerator that need to be consumed within the next forty-eight hours. I also didn't feel comfortable ordering a $300+ set of frying pans that Gordon Ramsay uses after what Lori experienced the other day. I'd probably use those pans as weapons if they were delivered in a damaged box! It was that desperation that made me grab Y

  NOTE: I have plans for most of Saturday, so I posted this a day early. — Robzilla. WHAT’S ON MY MIND Family math. TMM + DR + the dying sister = Fuck Nugget Fiesta.  While I’m keeping my emotions in check, the rest of the family is trying to drive me insane. Maybe at some point things will calm down in my life, but I have a better chance of winning Powerball before that happens. On a happier note, I’ll meet up with Sensei for breakfast tomorrow morning. It’s not a date, but I guarantee I’ll get a favorable reaction out of her when she sees my weight loss. WHAT I ATE Candied ginger. Sensei advised me it’s good for inflammation, and I can attest my muscles and joints feel so much better the day after a hard workout. I’ve also noticed some other health benefits that I’m too shy to discuss here! Sensei will receive a little playful teasing about this, and I promise to be a gentleman about it. WHAT I BOUGHT Yuki, officially. Her title arrived in the mail, so now I’m the hinge in a MINI thr

  The gentleman from Bath Fitters worked long hours to give me a glorious walk in shower, but I can't use it until Friday morning. Something about waiting twenty-four hours before its first use, and he didn't leave until around eleven o'clock in the evening. I made sure he was properly compensated for staying so late. I like the idea that if I stay here long term, it has grab bars and two different shower heads so I have no issues cleaning myself as I age.  I can also see why web searches tell me this setup is popular with couples. With San Diego's water rates, I don't think that's gonna fly... Anyway... today begins a two or longer day stretch where TMM's future hangs in the balance. I also have to meet with his social worker and he later today about a serious matter. I'm not looking forward to any of this, but it's something that needs to be done. I find it weird that as the youngest sibling I've become The Man of the House all of a sudden. I&#

... No Longer Wished I Had The Energy To Do Something Three years ago I bought Zumba: Burn It Up! for the Nintendo Switch in the hopes that I could use this to get into better shape while looking for work. Sadly, I learned rather quickly that I lacked the fitness level to do more than one low intensity song. It was disappointing, but expected. Then there's the matter that my home doesn't have AC and at the time also didn't have ceiling fans. Even now, the living room can be quite brutal in August and early September. Especially when my body once carried the equivalent of another human being in body fat. After yesterday's post, my curiosity got the best of me. I reconnected the Switch to the TV and then charged the joycons controllers that came with it. I'm in much better shape now, and I can last more than one low intensity song. Right?  Three songs to adjust to the instructors' movements on my screen plus a 15-minute class consisting of four songs later, I got

... Faced Some Uncomfortable Truths After yesterday's post, I lost myself on the Muscle and Fitness web site for a good spell. Even in my old age, I still crave learning new things or reacquainting myself with things I used to do three decades ago. Something I've been curious about for awhile is my body fat percentage. Where it's at now isn't optimal, but if I knew what it was then I could figure out my final destination on this weight loss journey. Sometime after dinner The Porch Gods delivered a fancy scale that cost me a C-note. It tells me all sorts of information that the Fitbit Aria Air could only dream of. I usually only weigh myself once a week, but this morning I took a deep breath and stepped on the scale to learn more about myself: I weigh 262.8 pounds, only 0.2 pounds heavier than I was on Friday morning's weigh in. As you've guessed, I was likely at or slightly above 350 pounds at this same time last year. My lean body weight is 190.6 pounds. That&#

  I unloaded enough baggage for a ten day vacation in yesterday’s post, but I still have a few things to tell y’all. LFG! — Robzilla WHAT’S ON MY MIND Shrinkage. I took a few measurements and discovered I’m about 3” smaller than I once was. No. Not there! I’m talking about my biceps. This week, I reflected on my early 20s when I used to study Muscle & Fitness and Ironman magazines like The Bible and weight trained six days a week for ice hockey. I was often the shortest guy on the ice, so I felt it was necessary to get bigger and stronger. With a change in diet and protein shakes, it wasn’t long before I naturally developed 18” to 19” biceps to go along with a broad chest and shoulders. While that’s impressive for someone well under six feet tall, it takes an ungodly, even unhealthy, amount of protein to feed those pythons without a little help from anabolic friends like HGH. Now that I see veins popping out of my calves, wrists, forearms and biceps due to my weight loss, I’d lov

It's been a brutal week. I had two dental visits on back to back days. The first was for a scheduled cleaning, and my gums are rebounding quite well from everything that I had done three months earlier. Then I was informed I had three cavities that needed attention, so I quickly made a second appointment for the following afternoon. My dental hygiene wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Two cavities were old fillings that needed to be replaced, and the third was a minor one that we decided to take care of now rather than later. My mouth hasn't quite recovered completely as of this writing, but I expect to be back to normal as soon as tomorrow. As for my debit card, my next cleaning will set me back over $200 since my insurance already paid for two of them this year. Ara ara! I also turned the dental visits into a MINI car show. The staff loved Miku and Yuki, aka Yukino. *** TMM is still in the hospital, and I'm crossing my fingers he'll be placed somewhere that can gi